Unethical Dating Habits That Will Make Him Run Far, FAR Away From You
Going to the dark side of dating has a lot of serious consequences, young Padawan.
I have noticed a disturbing, and alarming uptick in bad dating behaviors from both men and women. It seems that, now that everything can be done behind a screen, everyone just kind of forgot that people are actually people.
This has led to people in the dating scene being insanely rude, cruel, or even just warped when it comes to the way they treat their fellow people. This is a trend that has to stop before the battle of the sexes turns into an all-out war.
Now, I know that there are a lot of ideas floating around the net that involve sketchy behavior from one partner in an effort to keep the other. Make no mistake about it: the following bad dating behaviors really don’t actually produce the results you want and only worsen your situation.
1. Whining, begging, or cold shouldering in order to get your way.
I don’t care if “your way” is a date, a wedding ring, or a threesome — doing this sh*t is bad. It makes you less attractive to your partner and also is a pretty good indication that you may be a horrible human being. If you have to manipulate people into getting your way, you’re not doing it right. It may be a better option to go with someone who actually will meet that need instead.
2. Ditching him mid-date because of looks alone.
Admittedly, this is a personal sore spot for me because I’ve had this done to me. It f*cking hurts. If that person seems nice enough, be polite and just finish the date anyway. Once the date’s done, tell them it won’t work out, but that you wish them the best. It’s really that simple. Do you have to be an assh*le like that?
3. Not showing who you actually are.
I’ve seen a lot of people who hide their preferences, opinions, and interests from dates just so that person will like them. There’s a lot of things wrong with this.
At best, you’re setting yourself up for resentment to start because you’ll never feel like you can be yourself around your partner. At worst, your partner will feel betrayed if you show who you really are. Either way, the person you’re presenting isn’t you, so even if they like you, that’s not the person you really are.
Civility used to be the standard when dating. Can you believe that? Yes, there used to be a time when guys didn’t hurl insults at women just because they wanted to sex them up.
In many cases, backhanded insults and the “lower her peg down a notch” could work, assuming the girl is insecure and going through sh*t. But here’s the thing about negging that guys don’t understand: it’s abusive, and quality women will notice it and drop you like a rock.
5. Lying about what you really want.
Don’t be the person who says they want a fling when they want a ring. All you’re doing is setting yourself up for failure and making sure you have an uphill battle.
6. Sabotaging birth control.
I’ve personally seen the effects of people who “trap” partners into marriage or relationships through an “oops” baby. At best, you will end up single with child support payments. At worst, you’re going to be stuck with a marriage partner who resents you and the kid, acts like they have the soul sucked out of them, and doesn’t want to sleep with you. Oh, and you’re also hurting your offspring by doing this. Overall, it’s a bad look and, moreover, it’s abusive.
7. Abuse as a way to keep him around.
It’s kind of scary how many people will become abusive to lovers just because that’s the only way they feel they can keep them around. Don’t be this person. Most abusers end up being alone, primarily because fewer and fewer people will be willing to put up with them.
8. Talking sh*t about men who rejected you politely.
Really, this makes you look bad, not the person who rejected you. Everyone with half a brain cell will see that the person who rejected you was right to do so.
9. Getting others to pressure him into staying with you.
I’ve had this happen to me. It doesn’t work, and it’s really abusive once you think about it.
10. Trying to buy his love.
I’ve been there, and trust me when I say I’ve seen others try it too. It doesn’t work. At all. At the end of the day, you’re better off just buying a prostitute, because literally, that’s kind of what you’re trying to do anyway.
11. Dating him as a way to get income or status.
I see this way too often for me to feel comfortable dating other people, and sadly, it happens with both women and men. If you do this, your partner will eventually figure it out and when they do, they will make your life hell. If you marry for money, you will earn every penny with work you don’t want to do.